The one I want to talk about is how I learned not to be ashamed of what I know, and how I learned to talk Christian but am still not. I got to visit my ailing father last week, he was a Christian Pastor for over 30 years. I was really worried about how I could help him see that this path is right for me, without him feeling like I am "turning my back on God". I want him to pass from this life with as few worries as possible, and I know that is a major point for him. At one point he said with tears in him voice how he can go as long as he can see that all this children are warriors for god.
I sat in his hospital room thinking about the conversation that was going on around me about Jesus and was struck with a thought. I can talk to them in the language they understand about leaving this world and resting until being called again, but be talking about the cycle of life and time in Valhalla.
From that moment I started doing just that and saw my dad's eye light up as I spoke of the things I learned as a child. but not feeling like I was being untrue to my roots in our path.
I have known for many years that I am on the earth for a reason, not a personal reason, but for others. I learned this trip that there is a vary good reason for this. My parents were told when I was little that I would be so behind and slow that I would need to be in a "hospital", but another Dr laughed and said I was fine, it was just that I have small bones that my skull is so small, not the size of my brain. I learned this trip was that my father had asked Jesus to let me pass from this world if I was that bad, but that if I was to stay here I was here for His (Jesus') glory, to be a light for others. My father told me about the last part of that for the first time this past week and I told him how I have always looked at my life as a tool (in a good way). I m even more sure of my path now as I am becoming a light, one of knowledge.
When prayer was had I quietly talked to Allfather Odin, Mother Frigga and Eir. While I did bow my head to show respect for the prayer around me, my inner self was looking up into the sky as I talked about the situation, and asked for guidance in this time.
Once while we were talking about what needs done and how Mama (my wonderful step mom) will be able to servive after my father passes on. I said something about how our hope is shifted. From finding a way to "cure" him to looking forward to seeing him again. I have no doubt that I will see him again (I am rather sure that I have known him before, and I seem to spend my time with those I meet, time and again) Mama, My sisters, and my brother all share a hope in heaven and eternal life. I see the cycle and the chance to see them all again in another life (and or in the Great Halls)
I love you Dad and thanks again for teaching me another life lesson!
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